Writing Dreams Into Reality

The Fight To Write

I spent 15 minutes writing and it felt like torture. My emotions shifted to code red.

I felt vulnerable, out of control, lost, young, exposed, unsafe, alone, frightened. And yet I also felt curious.

Curious about a person, who moments ago didn’t exist outside my head. Actually she’s existed almost two weeks now, outside my head. Who knows how long she existed INSIDE it.

I know her name. I know her pain. I know her confusion. And yet I can only write about it 15 to 30 minutes at a time.

I, my ego based, type A personality self doesn’t find that worthwhile. That part of me says to the others parts in a condescendingly sweet tone – we can do better. We can go longer, do more.

But we can’t. At least not yet.

And going longer, being better, doing more isn’t even all that necessary. Having something to make better IS the point.

I have to write it before I can make it better.

And then another part of me, my stoner, the part that’s always wishing it off on tomorrow, looking for the easy and quick way thinks, well hell, you’ve written 500 words just describing this character.

Isn’t that enough writing for today?

An argument ensues between my type A and my stoner. I, the preservation part of me anyway, goes and makes peanut butter toast on Ezekiel Sprouted Whole Wheat Bread.

I munch on that, while I type this and let the two of them argue about something that isn’t important.

I take a sip of thick Sumatra coffee laced with a thimble of Moroccan cinnamon and think about a line I read in a book I won, but which isn’t the book I expected.

No wait, it wasn’t in a book, it was on a blog and I don’t even remember the line, just that I ingested it and I’m waiting for it to be integrated.

Of course I didn’t bother to write it down, bookmark it, share it or anything else when I read it.

I can use the search for that to distract me while I pretend to ignore the argument still raging in my head – which neither of the parts of me are going to win.

It’s just not a winnable argument.

It’s during these times of ignoring part of me and distracting myself from the act of ignoring, that the question of my right, my ability, hell my sanity float forward, freely and unbidden.

Can I really do this? Can I really get out of my own way, stop pontificating long enough about how difficult writing is to actually write the remaining 400 or so words of Naomi’s flash fiction story?

I’m down to one more bite of peanut butter toast.

My teeth automatically begin grinding into the ripped piece of chewy bread, tongue darting between every third or fourth compression of my jaws. My mouth has it’s own rhythm and system for the disintegration of any food like substances placed within it.

It started with purposefully innate suckling and took years to form all the pieces of that system.

How long does it take to form a writing system which works as perfectly? And is anything about writing innate?

How To Be a Better Writer

Know The Purpose of Your Book

The “Writing For Your Reader” Edition Vol. 1 No. 2   Do you know what type of writer you need to be for your readers? No, it’s not just a distinction between fiction and non-fiction or even defining your genre or niche. You write your book based on its purpose. What is your books purpose?Continue Reading

Three Ways to Beat Your Writing Avoidance

The “Butt In Chair” Edition Vol. 1 No. 1 When you want to write, but EVERYTHING, and that means ANYTHING, like the dust in the corner of the laptop keyboard case, can grab your attention and pull you away from the task of keeping your “Butt In The Chair” and fingers on the keys, whatContinue Reading

Writes to Publish Presents: Susan Daffron

The name Susan Daffron continues to pop up as a go to resource during my research of the ins and outs of the self publishing world. The fact that she follows her passions, had me chomping to hear more of what she has to say. It appears I just missed participating in the live 3rdContinue Reading

Vanity publishing versus Self publishing

Vanity and subsidy publishers promise the moon. They promise to give you what you believe you want – a successfully published book. Using vanity publishing is easier on the psyche than say trying to get published with Random House or Wiley. There is less hassle, frustration, fewer hoops to jump through and it’s easier toContinue Reading

Publishing role reversal

The e-book and specifically e-publishing has opened doors for authors who either don’t want to or wouldn’t make it through the vetting process of a publishing house. The old model of publishing includes lots and lots of waiting and tons of hope. The author submits a proposal via one of several methods. Then there areContinue Reading

Where’s that book?

You know that book, the one  in your head that you just haven’t taken the time to write yet? Yes, that one and the other one, two, ten of them floating and stewing up there, waiting for the first one to get out of the way. Where is it? Why can I not read itContinue Reading